NEW MEDICINES FOR WOMEN

With the introduction of Viagra to fix a perennial male problem, a famous British pharmaceutical company is working to redress the balance.

MIRRORCILLIN – A 5cc dose enables a woman to walk past mirrors for up to four hours without pausing once.

STOPPANAGGIN – Gives women a vague feeling of contentment towards their spouse/boyfriend.

COSMOPOLIRA – Doubles female intelligence to almost simian levels, allowing ‘facts’ in trash lifestyle magazines to be disputed.

LOGICON – Trials showed that females taking this were able to follow a proposition through to its logical conclusion, and argue effectively without being diverted into non relevant postulates such as ‘you don’t love me anymore’.

PARKATRON – 72% of women taking this were able to safely reverse park a Ford Fiesta into a space only 12 meters long; 54% achieved this in under 15 minutes.

MAGNATACK – Uniquely distorts the cornea, making certain shapes appear much larger than in reality – no practical use for this drug has yet been found.

WARDROBIA – Clinical trials show that almost 23% of women taking this drug can safely walk past a sale notice, and an amazing 42% stayed within their credit limit.

BEERINTULIN – Engenders a female desire to bring her spouse/boyfriend alcoholic beverages and snacks during televised sports.

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